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But in other ways that's really generative because it allows us to think about how we're writing about bodies, why we read about bodies and I appreciate what you said, Mary, about the tradition of male fiction writing and thinking about your writing, Chip. In this episode, anthropologist Mary I remember when folks were wondering why a gay porn discusses writing about bodies, relating to readers, memory, and truth with fiction writer Samuel Delany.

VC []: I think there's certainly room for imagining something otherwise but also to describe exactly what is, right, exactly what it is that we see and what we experience and what it is that we notice about our own communities and communities that we perceive to be different of us in whatever way, in whatever way that might be.

Would you say that that's true, Chip, in your writing and when you're thinking about futurity and world-making culture, do you think that you know, marginalized folks are building in reaction to the dominant society and in reaction to what kinds of forms of power are around?

Maybe him desiring me is a little gay. Feeling him inside of me was like a dream come true—and in a way, it was. I think that's also important.

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VC []: Yeah especially, I think, as writing and scholarship becomes more widely available we have to more intentionally contend with the power that, I mean, that any writer has. Nick didn't waste any time, laying on top of me, putting his chest on my back, and fucking me with fast, short thrusts.

It felt good, I think.

Either because you're comfortable presenting it in that particular way or you think you should or you know or for what or for whatever reason. Like, we can't, we're not their publicists, like we can't just only say things they want to hear but we are super self-critical now about that responsibility.

It was a relief, like I felt normal again. So a lot of thinkers now are thinking about how in the States, especially in the States but certainly transnationally, the transatlantic slave trade has led black folks to envision gender in very particular ways and blackness informing, and antiblackness in particular informing, how we might understand gender or transgender.

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